Lightening Crashes
by shevsy630
Summary: A future fic. Jake and Hamilton are learning that life plays out in frightening, beautiful and unexpected ways


Title: Lightening Crashes  
  
Author:Elisheva  
  
Email: Shevsy630@aol.com  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Category: Jake/Hamilton  
  
Disclaimer: The plot is the only thing mine here. The characters are not mine, etc. The song Lightening Crashes belongs to Live.  
  
Summary: A future fic. Jake and Hamilton are learning that life plays out in frightening, beautiful and unexpected ways.  
  
Thanks: To EV, thanks so much for everything! Gis, always the queen of fanfic, ruler of rawley, mother of Jake and Ham, etc. smooch! Pats and Pooh! Smooch head! Thanks you guys!!!  
  
Author's Note: This is the first time I have ever written a fic around a song, please let me know what you think! The song is amazing, one of my favorites of all time, if you have never heard it, I highly reccomend it!  
  
***  
  
  
  
"Hi, Jacqueline, I'm home sweetie." Hamilton called out to his wife, his face downtrodden as he dropped his heaping briefcase on the floor of the dimly lit hallway.  
  
Jacqueline emerged from the kitchen, brushing back the hair that had fallen in front of her eyes. "Hello there stranger. How was your day? Is the world of psychology surviving Hamilton Flemming?" she asked and kissed him meaningfully on his reddened cheek.  
  
Hamilton chuckled a little but then a look of importance came over his face. "Actually, there's something I wanted to tell you."  
  
Jacqueline's smile faded slightly and she nodded surely "Good, because I have something to tell you too."  
  
Hamilton pulled off his tie with one hand and used his other to drag his wife over to the leather, oak colored couch in their small and cozy living room. They sat down simultaneously and both sighed deeply.  
  
"You first" they said together and smiled at just how well they knew each other.  
  
"Okay, here goes." Jacqueline started and smiled broadly as she contemplated what she was about to say. "Hammie, we're having a baby!" she said, almost laughing from the overwhelming joy which was gradually taking over her entire essence.  
  
Hamilton sat motionless for a minute. Jacqueline just watched him as she awaited a response. The ticking of the clock mounted on the wall opposite her suddenly became very evident to Jake. Finally Hamilton smiled. "Oh my god. That's just amazing, Jake. We've waited so long!" he said almost mechanically, while giving her a forced hug.  
  
Jake was unwilling to accept Hamilton's emotionless delight. With a confused and curious look on her face, She soothingly spoke to her husband. "Hamilton. Talk to me. What's wrong? We've been waiting for this news for years, and you don't seem happy, I know something is wrong."  
  
"Of course I'm happy" He nodded and said bluntly, avoiding her inquisitive eyes.  
  
"I've known you for eleven years. Give me a little credit. What is it? Did something happen at work?" She said, smoothing the soft dark hair on his head and touching his face.  
  
Hamilton turned towards Jake. He loved her so much. They had been married four years and had wanted children even longer. "Jake, are you feeling all right? I mean, you aren't sick yet, are you?"  
  
"No." She said quietly, not understanding why he was acting like this. She sighed; heart battling between hurt and concern. She waited a few more moments for him to open up, but he just looked at the floor, completely at a loss of what to say or do. Jake stood up, hugged Hamilton and said, "I am here when you're ready, you know that."  
  
With that, she went into the den where she tried to preoccupy herself with the computer.  
  
But her distressed preoccupation was interrupted by her husband's sweet voice. "My mother has cancer, Jake, Pancreatic cancer."  
  
She turned around slowly. Staring at his beautifully matured face now pained by his own words  
  
"Ham…"  
  
His long suppressed tears finally filled his blue eyes. He broke down. Jacqueline rushed over to him and embraced him. She embraced with all the support that she could express, not knowing what to say or how to comfort him. She didn't know the details, the chances, the statistics, or the treatments, but she knew Hamilton and she knew Kate. And that was enough to tear her heart to pieces and make her want to break down too.  
  
Hamilton looked up from the crook of Jake's neck as she placed his hands gently on her stomach. They stood there for a very long time. Hamilton's hand's cupped over Jacqueline's flat belly, Jacqueline's hands on top of his.  
  
Finally Hamilton lifted his hands and brought them to her face. "Thank you, Jake. It's going to be okay. I mean, people recover from cancer all the time, right?" he said, attempting to reassure himself more than her.  
  
***  
  
"Would you like to know the sex of the baby?" the young doctor asked Jacqueline, who was sprawled comfortably in the chair, with her ever- growing small round tummy exposed. She turned to Hamilton and gave his hand a squeeze, just as she had been doing throughout the visit. Every glance of the baby, every slight movement it made, that amazing little person that they had created, she would give a little squeeze.  
  
Hamilton squeezed her back.  
  
"Yes." She told the doctor.  
  
The doctor took one more look at the screen. "Your baby is a girl."  
  
  
  
Jake had changed back into her clothing and was walking with Hamilton, clutching the sonogram photograph of their baby girl in her hand. They reached the elevator in the middle of the cold hospital and waited for its arrival. The door slid open and they stepped in, greeted by soft playing music.  
  
"Lobby?" the elevator attendant asked them.  
  
"Um, no, we're going to the Chemo ward, fourth floor." Hamilton said.  
  
The attendant nodded and pushed the appropriate buttons. He must have been new on the job, because the other attendants were quite familiar with Hamilton and his destination by now.  
  
Jake and Hamilton stepped out of the elevator as it opened, immediately greeted by a scent far different then the one they had left on the maternity floor. They walked down the long, turning, white corridors as if it were a route they had been taking their entire lives. At the end of one of the many plain, sterile halls,- all almost identical- they opened a door.  
  
"Hi mom, how you feeling today?" Hamilton asked cheerfully as he kissed his mother. She was laying in bed reading and she looked very weak. With her face significantly thinned, her sunken eyes darkened from the sleepless nights of pain, she lacked the usual youthful, excited glow that always used to emanate from her.  
  
"Hey Kate. We brought you a little something, I think you're gonna like it." Jake said, pulling a chair over towards her mother-in-law, in the hopes of resting her swollen legs.  
  
"Hi kids. You didn't have to come by today, you were just here yesterday."  
  
"Come on, Mom, I want to come see you. Besides, I know Dad has to work late today, so we're here to keep you company."  
  
"Thanks Munchie. So, what's this special thing you brought me?"  
  
"Well, Jake has just been to her second trimester checkup." He said. Jake handed him the little photo and he presented it with the utmost pride to his mother. "Behold, you're future granddaughter."  
  
Kate's eyes filled with tears as she gazed upon the photo as if it were a million-dollar bill. Jake and Hamilton had requested that they type a message onto it for them. It read simply, "Hi Grandma, I love you!". For an enchanting moment, the immense pain circulating throughout Kate's body subsided.  
  
"Oh, baby. She's beautiful." Kate said to her son. "Gosh, the word 'grandma' makes me feel so old!" she said, gazing into space. "It seems like just last week that I was looking at your fresh little baby boy face." She said, touching his cheek. She paused for a few moments, lost in the memories.  
  
"Well, I've certainly seen a great deal of this hospital since that day." She finally said, smiling slightly, but alluding to another message she hoped they would somehow understand.  
  
Jake's smile was replaced with a grim expression. Hamilton was being so strong by just listening to her and not losing it. Blowing up and breaking down, that is what so many days of the past four months had brought.  
  
The intense moment was drawn to its end when Dean Flemming entered the room. He swiftly approached his wife, kissing her briefly and presenting her with a plate covered in foil.  
  
"Thank you, Steve." Kate said, a huge smile spreading across her lips.  
  
"Ooh, watcha got?" Jake asked, peaking over at the dish.  
  
"Oh, just some caramel-chocolate cake" the Dean said, very proud of his accomplishment. Jake and Hamilton both raised their eyebrows at him inquisitively. "So, you don't think I can bake, do you? Yeah, I have secrets you just never even fathomed" he said, winking at Kate.  
  
She licked her frosting-covered finger and smiled toothily at him. "Yeah, those secrets involve asking Mrs. Downey to whip up my favorite cake for me, then claim it in your name." She said, almost laughing.  
  
They all joined in the laughter, enjoying the beauty of the moment; observing in awe the intimate, loving group that this once drifting family had become.  
  
  
  
Jacqueline sat on the loveseat in their living room slowly consuming a bag of potato chips, ensuring that the only remnants of the snack were to be found sprinkled over her black, wide maternity top. She was reading through the Dictionary of Baby's Names. The baby was due any day now; both Jacqueline and her husband were filled with so many mixed emotions. Jacqueline turned the page. The first name on it was "Lena" she laughed slightly, remembering the role that Lena had played in her adolescence.  
  
Every once in a while she would call out a suggestion to Hamilton, who had just gotten up from his laptop and was now pacing back and forth throughout the room.  
  
"Why is this happening, Jake? Why is she dying on me?" he suddenly exclaimed, in a tone not quite speaking and not quite yelling. "She is forty nine years old! She has a son, a husband, a daughter-in-law, a granddaughter on the way! Why can't she just try a little harder? Why can't she just…try?!" he said, his voice weakening, and his hands trembling.  
  
Jake pulled herself up and wobbled over to Hamilton. She placed her hand on his arm. "She is trying, Ham. It's hard, she is hurting too."  
  
"I know." He said, calming down slightly. "I wish I were hurting with her. I wish there were some way I could understand what she is feeling, what goes through her mind every morning when she wakes up. We sit here, anticipating the happiest day in our lives, while she battles with death every day. It kills me. It hurts so much, I wish I could do something. She is in so much pain!" he finished, crying.  
  
Jake hugged him as best she could with her enormous stomach. "Maybe she is fighting it for you." She suggested softly. Hamilton said nothing. "Maybe she wants to let go but she's afraid to leave you."  
  
At that Hamilton fell to the floor sobbing. He cried into his hands, rocking himself on the floor. His sobs filled their home with a cold shrill it had never heard before. Jacqueline just rocked with him, hugging him to her chest as he flooded her shirt with tears.  
  
  
  
Later that night, as they were climbing into bed with swollen eyes Hamilton said, "I don't want her to suffer for me, Jake."  
  
She looked at him sympathetically and kissed him goodnight.  
  
"I love you." He told her as he gently squeezed her arm under the covers.  
  
"I love you more."  
  
"Thank you for being my wife and having our baby." He said.  
  
She turned uneasily onto her side and smiled at him. "I couldn't do it for any other man. Goodnight honey, try to get some sleep, okay?"  
  
He nodded and switched off the light.  
  
  
  
Hamilton dreamed an amazing dream that night. He was at a wedding, but he and Jake were standing on the side of the alter, beaming proudly at the bride and groom at the center. Hamilton turned and kissed his mother on the cheek; as she looked on as well, looking just as young as ever. The bride was Hamilton and Jake's daughter. He could not distinguish her face, but he remembered thinking how beautiful she was, feeling enormous fulfillment; three generations of Flemmings sharing the moment together.  
  
The dream came to an abrupt halt as Jake tapped him on he shoulder repeatedly and whispered the words he had been waiting his entire life to hear. "Hammie. Wake up. It's time. The baby's coming."  
  
He shot out of bed, and hurried, as if instinctively, with Jake to the hospital, pre-packed suitcase in tow.  
  
  
  
Lightning crashes, a new mother cries  
  
Her placenta falls to the floor  
  
Outside room 213 loud shrieks of booming pain were heard by all that passed. Jacqueline pushed with everything she had, begging God to bring this important child into the world safely.  
  
The angel opens her eyes  
  
Hamilton sat in silence holding his wife's hand and watching as a miracle occurred before his very eyes. How could it be possible that two people so in love had the power to create a spirit, a life? His eyes watered in awe as the child's life-filled cry reached his ears. He touched the baby's face in disbelief as the doctor placed the tiny being into her mother's arms.  
  
The baby's eyes... it was unmistakable. She was Hamilton's daughter. Her hair was light, almost blond. She was Kate's granddaughter.  
  
The confusion sets in  
  
Before the doctor can even close the door  
  
  
  
The child, now washed and wrapped in a pink fleece blanket, fluttered her eyes at the bright white lights in the elevator. Hamilton and Jacqueline beamed with joy as they made their way up to the chemo ward. Hamilton pushed Jake's wheelchair while she clutched the precious child in her arms. He passed an empty lounge room where his father was talking solemnly to an older, graying doctor. He kept walking, pushing the wheelchair gracefully and proudly as if he were on a mission of Godly proportions.  
  
It was another wheelchair that greeted the trio as they entered Kate's softly lit room. She was seated by the window, fallen into her seat, staying buried in it as if it were her protection from everything evil, and gazing out at the city before her. She sighed despairingly, not knowing she had company.  
  
Hamilton cleared his throat.  
  
Kate made a strenuous effort to turn her head and succeeded well enough to see her son. She smiled broadly as she tried to turn herself to greet her daughter-in-law. Tears filled her eyes as Hamilton left his wife's chair to push his mother's. She could not bring herself to speak for fear that she would bawl. She stroked the baby's hair, rubbed her little arms, barely distinguishable under the mass of pink fabric. She watched her breathe and move slightly in her sleep.  
  
"Want to hold her?" Jake asked.  
  
Kate nodded. She lifted her arms, bony and withered from the strain her body had been through over the past eight months and reached out to accept her granddaughter. She rocked her back and forth, singing to her just as she had sung to Hamilton when he was born.  
  
Hamilton pushed Kate back towards the window. They gazed outside together.  
  
"Look at it, Hammie, look out there…" Kate told her son thoughtfully, "It's life."  
  
Hamilton looked down at his mother and daughter, not fully understanding what was passing, but too afraid to ask.  
  
"It's beautiful… Life, I mean. Look at all those cars and people, moving so quickly, falling into the rhythm." She paused. "Don't let it slip past you, Munchie, it's too precious."  
  
Hamilton looked into his mother's warm eyes, the eyes whose life seemed to be defying her body. "I won't Mom, I promise." Hamilton said, as his tears began to flow steadily. "I love you so much Mommy." He whispered, almost choking on the emotion that was escaping from his throat.  
  
"I love you too." She said strongly, looking down at the baby. "I'm so proud of you and Jake…Please don't let the baby grow up without knowing me…"  
  
"Kate-" Jake cut in, not wanting her to go any farther.  
  
Kate shook her head. "I love you like my own daughter, sweetie. Thank you for making my son the happiest man alive. I know you'll take care of him."  
  
Hamilton was now sobbing uncontrollably, grabbing onto his mother's arm like a frightened child, not willing to let go for anything.  
  
Kate kissed Hamilton on the cheek.  
  
Hamilton, not looking up, said. "Her name is Kate."  
  
Hamilton finally glanced up at his mother, whose eyes were now peacefully closed.  
  
Hamilton tapped his mother on the arm. "Nurse. NURSE!" Hamilton called frantically with whatever voice he could muster. He took his newborn from his mother's soft lap. It was still warm with the joy of life.  
  
Lightning crashes, an old mother dies  
  
Her intentions fall to the floor  
  
The angel closes her eyes  
  
The confusion that was hers  
  
Belongs now, to the baby down the hall  
  
  
  
  
  
Jacqueline, sobbing, clung to the baby in her arms. The soft breeze outside and peaceful chirping of the birds were insignificant to everyone present. Hamilton was standing by a casket, his mother's casket, crying silently as the moving eulogy was being said. His father stood behind him, holding onto his son's shoulder, tears sliding down his face emotionally, reverently.  
  
Baby Kate let out a pained little cry. Jake quickly stifled it with a pacifier, and cooed Kate back into tranquility.  
  
  
  
Oh now feel it comin' back again  
  
Like a rollin' thunder chasing the wind  
  
Forces pullin' from the center of the earth again  
  
I can feel it.  
  
  
  
"The world works in amazing ways." The preacher said, as he concluded his speech, "The Circle of Life- Somehow, God decided that as one soul was being immersed in the nuances of life, another had to be taken away, to make room in this world for another extraordinary potential." He paused. "Kate's didn't just leave us, she is here with us now, spiritually as well as significantly. Everything Kate stood for shines through in her family. Now it will shine through in a whole new generation. Kate left her mark in this world by allowing for even more possibility and beauty."  
  
Lightning crashes, a new mother cries  
  
This moment she's been waiting for  
  
The angel opens her eyes  
  
Pale blue colored iris,  
  
Presents the circle  
  
And puts the glory out to hide, hide  
  
*THE END* 


End file.
